the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!