Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight