i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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