No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
