Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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