he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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