Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
