he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
