Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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