He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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