she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
