Your tits are I can't wait for
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I could make wine with my vomit
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
