I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
