that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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