I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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