I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize