I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize