Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
