You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
