I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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