yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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