i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
