I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
