i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
