Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Welp...herpes.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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