My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My cat gives me a boner
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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