dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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