i just had sex bonerless
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
