awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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