We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize