oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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