no. you can't hotbox the world.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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