Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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