Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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