ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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