Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
