I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize