its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
