Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
