none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
