Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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