Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
