I just cut my nipple shaving
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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