I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
