I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
