I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i came on her dog
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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