i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
