I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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