Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
