So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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