Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
