i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
