i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
