Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
