You can't special order awesome
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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