I should be sponsored by Trojan
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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