Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
