K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
