just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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