i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize