Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
